Live Play By Play of Saints vs Seahawks

8 Jan

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Change of plans folks. Due to unforeseen circumstances (i.e. no one wanting to eat at my piece of garbage restaurant), I got sent home. Which gives me an excuse to drink and live blog the first game of the Wildcard Weekend, as the New Orleans Saints head to Seattle to face the Seahawks. The blogging begins….NOW

4:32 – Mike Mayock is doing color for the game? I’m giddy. Also, before kickoff I’m going on the record in saying that while I think the Saints are taking this game, I think the Seahawks are gonna surprise a lot of people. They have nothing to lose, they’ll play hard, and that stadium rocks pretty hard.

4:35 Kickoff – Holy fuck, what an anti-climactic way to start the game off. Kickoff out of bounds? *Facepalm*

4:38 – Strongest move so far: opening my first beer of the afternoon, a Shock Top. Wrongest move so far: saying the Seahawks would show up today. Brees is making it looks easy

4:41 – Best case scenario for the Seahawks, hold em to a field goal. What an atrocious way to start the game off for them.

4:43 – What. The. Fuck. Looks like Mare and Hartley are having a competition who could suck more. Great field position for Seattle

4:45 – Well now, there goes that. Hasselbeck throws a pick off a tipped pass. The Seattle defense is not terrible, but if they keep getting put in these shit situations this game is going to get out of control very very fast. The Seahawks are not a team built to come from behind.

4:48 – Gotta figure out what I’m going to eat. Forgot that I haven’t eaten all day. My Man Cave is stocked with beer but no food :(. Delivery time!

4:51 – Why hasn’t Mayock been color on more games? He’s been flawless so far. Better than Collinsworth and it’s not even close. Not as pedantic and a little more informative.

4:53 – After the pass interference call in the endzone puts the ball at the one yard line for the Saints, an all too easy touchdown by Heath Evans, great play call. Slips into the flat unnoticed and no one keeps tracks of him. Great short yardage play call. Always gets the job done in Madden.

4:57 – Wow there is no one that scares me on the Seahawks offense

4:58 – They need a TD here. Not a FG, a TD. I do like how they’re using the short passes to move the ball a bit. We all know their running game is non-existent. Hey remember when Justin Forsett was a legit fantasy option? Me neither

5:01 – Brandon Stokley is still in the league? *smh*

5:03 – Took the words right out of my mouth Mayock. What an answer by Hasselbeck. Ladies and gentlemen, we still (could) have a ballgame!

5:05 – They’re not a band. They’re a social club #StreetSweeperSocialClub. Tom Morello is silly but he’s a mean guitarist.

5:07 – Gripe #47 on Rules That Favor The Offense: I absolutely loathe “Illegal Contact.” Stupid penalty. All cause the Patriots secondary led by Ty Law absolutely MAULED the Colts wideouts all those years ago. Wow that seems like yesterday. I feel old.

5:09 – Blogging, drinking, watching the game, and trying to figure out what I’m gonna order from Domino’s is proving to be very difficult

5:11 – Funny story about Mayock: a few years back at the Rutgers Pro Day, he was there and I was doing what I do whenever I see a famous person: stare at them really creepily and follow their every move. We took pictures of him without, you know, actually talking to him. We eventually mustered up the courage to talk to him, giving him the standard, “We’re big fans.” He laughed and told us how crazy we are. I assume he knew we were staring at him the whole time

5:18 – This game would be 21-3 right now if this was in New Orleans. Instead, 17-7. Let’s see if the Seahawks can respond. Their defense laid down that Saints drive

5:23 – Mayock putting on a clinic in the booth. Love the way he reads the secondary. Beats listening to Collinsworth’s snarky remarks

5:26 – Damnit, Lorenz better get here soon. I’m so hungry I’m not even hungry anymore

5:28 – How did that play work? Great blitz by NO to try and counter the SEA short passing game and Hasselbeck just heaves it up. Where are the Saints safeties?

5:29 – Touchdown Seahawks. H-beck came to play. Now if only his defense can provide an answer to the New Orleans offense…

5:32 – WOWOWOWOW. If he read that a hair earlier, that pass is picked and taken to the house. Crowd is now getting R-O-W-D-I-E

5:34 – Things are about to get veeeeeery interesting. You heard it here first, Seahawks are making moves people

5:37 – That three and out was a killer. Defense going back out there with very little rest. Brees excels in these situations.

5:40 – Hole. Lee. Shit. Is Seattle gonna…take the lead???

5:43 – Tie game with seven minutes left to go in the first half. A really fun game so far

5:46 – Hawthorne has been straight ballin so far. And just as I say that, Mayock brings him up. We’re on the same wavelength. Big sack there by Seattle. I stand by my statement before though, this would be a different game right now if this was in Louisiana.

5:52 – Really impressed with Hasselbeck right now. Showing a lots of poise. And cojones. Lots of cojones. Their sticking to their game plan and Payton and Co. look caught off guard

5:57 – Hasselbeck. Wow. Seahawks 24-17

5:59 – Seahawks kick coverage team has been playing possessed all game. Other than the kick out of bounds to start the game, kickoffs haven’t gone much farther than the 20 yard line

6:03 – Brees has to be thinking TD. Don’t want to leave it up to Hartley.  A missed field goal before the end of the half would create a crowd-gasm

6:08 – End of the first half Seahawks up 24-20. Up and down game so far. Seattle gets the ball to start out the second half which is HUGE. A lot of thought must go into scripting that first drive. A touchdown would completely shift the momentum in Seattle’s favor. Right now, Saints can’t feel too much panic, only down four

6:12 – Shock Top has run it’s course. Moving on to Dos Equis. If you’re still confused as to what a strong move is, this is an example of one

6:14 – The Tiny Football League angers me. No one knows if it’s trying to be funny, if it’s trying to be an allegory for something else. It’s just fucking dumb. Whoever thought of it should be fired immediately. And their job should be given to me. I’ve come up with better ideas stoned. All NBC would have to do would be to pay me in food and groupies.

6:19 – Speaking of wrong moves, that Planet Fitness commercial. Dear God…

6:22 – Oh hey, 23 views! Gotta start somewhere I guess. In related news, I give myself a C- so far. This live blog thing is harder than it looks. Especially when I’ve legitimately been updating every three minutes or so

6:26 – Seahawks are moving the ball, they’re looking SHARP. Not that this will mean anything even if they do hold on to win; they’ll get blasted in the next round. This team is ENTIRELY different on the road. You can’t stress this enough


6:32 – Once again, the Seattle kick coverage team getting up the field quick. An overlooked factor in this game. Seattle Special Teams >>> NO Special Teams

6:34 – You can’t do that Drew Bress…definitely intentional grounding. The Seahawks defense is flying around right now. The crowd is buzzing. Uh oh…

6:41 – Stokley with a huge 3rd down conversion. These are the kind of plays I remember him making. Five years ago.

6:45 – Another pass on third and short?! Sheeeeeeit. Obamanu drops it

6:48 – Yet another kickoff return for the Saints that doesn’t cross the 20 yard line. Don’t count out Brees though just yet…

6:51 – LOL at the clip of Pete Carroll in the locker room. What the shit was that?

6:54 – Drew Brees that was a strong decision. Too strong. The game is in your hands Seattle. Don’t fuck it up. Unreal. Needless to say, there’s gonna be no more talk about re-seeding the playoffs until…next year.

6:58 – Questionable no call on that long pass to Obamanu. They’ve been calling everything this year, figured that should’ve gotten called

6:59 – That’s a perfect example of why Seattle was 7-9 on the year. Penalty takes ’em out of FG range, forced to punt. The Saints are trying to give them the game, Seattle needs to grab it

7:01 – Julius Jones is fucking trash

7:09 – Chris Clemons, former Raider REPRESENT. Saints are lingering right now

7:13 – I feel as if this game is destined for OT. New OT rules are in place, this could be fun

7:15 – What has the Saints secondary been doing all day? Mike Williams was wide open, corner bit bad on the pattern. Would’ve walked into the endzone had it been completed

7:19 – Seattle needs to keep putting pressure on Brees. Can’t stay back in zone and let him pick you apart

7:23 – Just housed some homemade spaghetti and meatballs my mom made. MOM THE MEATLOAF!

7:25 – You see, I would say go for it with a 4th and short inside the five. Worst case scenario, you don’t get it and Seahawks get the ball inside the five. FG doesn’t help you too much in this situation

7:31 – Stokley with another big third down conversion. Who woulda thunk it?

7:36 – Questionable coaching decisions by Seattle on those last few offensive plays before giving it up to New Orleans. Sweep the leg Seahawks!

7:43 – On that note I will be ending the live blog for the Saints vs. Seahawks. Marshawn fucking Lynch with one of the alltime great playoff runs. Unstoppable. What a stiffarm on Tracy Porter. Speechless. Enjoy Jets and Colts with Oakley everyone, it’s been fun. 41-30 Seahawks. Who saw this coming?


12 Responses to “Live Play By Play of Saints vs Seahawks”

  1. Dan Klioze January 8, 2011 at 6:28 pm #

    I must say, Alex Flanagan has some serious potential as a gorgeous sideline reporter, but she needs to polish her game analysis skills…”…meanwhile, Pete Carroll is thrilled with his quarterback.” In a related story, I’m enjoying the beer that I’m drinking.

    • arrrrrmando January 8, 2011 at 6:32 pm #

      What beer you rolling with?

      • Dan Klioze January 8, 2011 at 6:36 pm #

        Right now it’s Long Trail Hibernator…If I kill those, it’ll be the impossible to find in the north east, Shiner Bock. #ICamePrepared

  2. Dan Klioze January 8, 2011 at 6:40 pm #

    Side note, I’m adding seeing a game at Qwest Field to my bucket list…the crowd looks every bit as good as a college crowd, plus the constant flow of beer during the game only makes it better. Also, Pete Carroll is definitely an evil genius…emphasis on the evil.

  3. Oakley January 8, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

    Hey Dan, u think Alex Flanagan is hot? I remember her looking hungover when she did sideline for the Steelers/Cardinals SuperBowl.

    • Dan Klioze January 8, 2011 at 6:47 pm #

      Being hungover suggest she’s DTF amongst other things…but to answer your question, yes. She’s not Erin Andrews, but she’d definitely get it.

  4. Dan Klioze January 8, 2011 at 6:55 pm #

    Drew Brees sending the punt team off defines a Strong Move…sure they didn’t make it, but punting would have been exceptionally weak.

  5. Dan Klioze January 8, 2011 at 7:17 pm #

    Mike Williams was looking like his fat former self on that missed route/impending touchdown. I wasn’t aware that supplied cake on the sidelines in Seattle…

  6. Dan Klioze January 8, 2011 at 7:34 pm #

    Seattle has been throwing downfield like it’s a college game all afternoon, why throw short on a 3rd and 17, giving the Saints a solid chance to take the lead with less than 5 minutes in the game?

  7. Dan Klioze January 8, 2011 at 7:37 pm #

    Anybody else catch that “Seahack” slip from Tom Hammond? lolz

  8. Dan Klioze January 8, 2011 at 7:43 pm #

    HOLY FUCKING SHIT…Marshawn just ghostrided more yards than he had all season. Wow.

  9. Dan Klioze January 8, 2011 at 7:51 pm #

    It sounded like Tom Hammond just tried to bust out his Gus Johnson impression heading into commercial, but he realized how weak it was and sort of gave up halfway through it…

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