Live Play By Play of Seahawks vs Bears

16 Jan

Got a late jump on the day. Join me for yet another live blog presented by the Strong Move. Seahawks vs. Bears begins now…

1:09 – Three and out for the Seahawks, sorry for the late start ladies and gents.

1:10 – And just like that, long pass from Cutler to Olsen puts the Bears up 6-0. Wasn’t able to put my prediction up before the game, but as much as I love the Seahawks this postseason, I’m riding with Da Bears. So far, I’m 5-1 in my playoff picks. I’m not counting last week’s Saints-Seahawks game as a loss. I thought the Ravens would take the game yesterday so I’m counting that as my only blemish.

1:14 – Once again, apologize for my lateness. But let’s be honest, you should be honored by my greatness. Stayed up til 5 AM or so, just fuming and eating my sorrows away. Being a server can do that to you sometimes. Let’s just say if I had a girlfriend, last night would be a night in which I’d come back home and beat her senselessly. I’m just joshing of course. Well, kinda. Still single ladies!

1:19 – Carlson down. Good thing too. Now I’m able to get settled and crack open a beer. Hope he’s OK though

1:23 – Carlson carted off. Now I feel like a dick

1:25 – Seattle offense looks flat. The only way they were winning this game is if the passing offense clicked as they did last week. Granted, last week they started out slow as well, but this is in Chicago. Different ballgame. Plus, isn’t it fate for the NFC Championship game to be Packers vs. Bears?

1:32 – MVP so far: my brother for making some homemade pizza. Feeds into my laziness as I sit here housing beers and not planning on moving for seven plus hours

1:34 – Carlson update: he has feelings in his extremities.

1:37 – Enjoy the musings of the one and only Dr. Klioze in the comments section in addition to this. He gets that shit done. Follow him on twitter as well @DrKlioze

1:40 – Near interception on the goal line. That would’ve been a game-changer. Instead, Bears keep the ball and run it with Forte on 3rd and 1. Gets stuffed. Aaaaaaand they’re going for it

1:42 – Cutler sneaks it for the first down. Forte gets absolutely up-ended on 1st and goal. That’s gonna leave a mark

1:43 – Chester Taylor walks in untouched for the TD. 14-0 Chicago. Alright Seattle, thanks for playing. By the way, if the Seahawks go on to lose this game, will Lynch’s run last week get lost in the depths of playoff lore? I sure as shit hope not. The crowd erupting caused a mini-earthquake for fuck’s sake.

1:47 – That last comment from Klioze had me in stitches. We need to figure out how to have a group live blog in the near future. My friends are better and more entertaining than yours, it’s pretty apparent.

1:54 – I don’t know what to make of this

1:55 – I do know what to make of this game though. Slow down Olsen you’re killing em. Still 14-0 but the Bears are driving yet again

1:57 – P.S. There’s more videos from the Selena Gomez guy, but I’ll leave that to you to look up. I’m just confused right now

2:01 Bears up 21-0. I knew I should’ve eaten that weed cookie beforehand. Only way this game would be entertaining at this point. Of course, I would not be able to type right now if I did

2:04 – By the way, if this game is boring you, get on my Twitter (@arrrrrmando) and check out my #ilikemywomenlike tags. Some of them were spectacular as were some of my fellow co-workers/fiends. Definitely wanna do more of those at some point, probably incorporate them into this blog or something. Not sure yet

2:07 – Speaking of this blog, we PROMISE you we will update with posts during the week. After the heavy (relative term) traffic we got last week, we really dropped the ball during the week and barely did anything. The good news is classes start this week so I’ll probably be posting more regularly on the site. I know doesn’t make sense, but if you’ve ever been to college, you’re nodding while reading this.

2:12 – Forte with a 26-yard scamper after a screen pass. Yawn

2:15 – Quick thoughts on the games from yesterday from what I was able to see while I was neglecting my tables: Ravens-Steelers game was fantastic, an instant classic. As much as people hate Big Ben, he is one helluva QB. Definitely not in the elite QB category, but who can argue against his 9-2 playoff record? Sure his first two years he was carried by his team a bit in the postseason (especially that Seahawks-Steelers Super Bowl….ugh), but he consistently makes clutch plays when his team needs it and will put his team on his back. I hear Jet fans screaming “Oh wait, isn’t that Sanchez? I don’t understand why everyone hates on him!” The difference between him and Sanchez is that Big Ben doesn’t fucking suck. Sorry Jet fans. As far as Packers-Falcons go, saw that a mile away. I’ve been sucking that Packers’ dong all year long and they’re finally making me look like the genius I am. If it wasn’t apparent before last night, Rodgers is the real deal ladies and gentlemen. 31 for 36 passing? Are you fucking kidding me? And he can run?! No better QB to replace Favre.

2:28 – Game update: at the two minute warning, Bears are still up 21-0. Like I said last week, the Seahawks are a COMPLETELY different team at home than they are away. They really feed off that crowd. Plus, the trip to the Pacific Northwest is no small task for any team east of the Mississippi

2:32 – The Seahawks WR’s are who we thought they were. So many drops so far. The offense just looks out of sync

2:35 – Also, thanks to @DrKlioze for once again bringing it to my attention, as I had read it earlier when I woke up in a daze for a few minutes this morning: Al Davis and Tom Cable are now squabbling over money. You’ll get my take on the state of the Raiders in the coming days. Also, halftime of this shitshow: Bears are still leading 21-0. Halftime means it’s masturbation time. Light up the fireplace and fire up your favorite porno and get to the fapping.

2:42 – Been making moves on the Shock Top and Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Both have been strong moves thus far.

2:46 – Can’t wait for the second half to start. Because that means we’re that much closer to the Jets-Patriots game. Should be a great one. Loved Wes Welker earlier this week by the way

2:52 – Nice stop by the Seattle defense on the first drive of the second half. Maybe these Seahawks do have some life in them!

2:55 – Lynch has done nothing today. I guess Lynch is who we thought he is too.

3:01 – One of the reasons Bears are up in this game: battle of the trenches. Their O-line is doing an excellent job protecting Cutler while Peppers and the rest of the D-line is setting the tone on defense. Another reason the Bears are up in this game: the Seahawks are not that good

3:08 – If this game stays like this, I will be 6-1 with my playoff picks. Not too shabby. For the record, going into the playoffs I had the Patriots and Packers meeting in the Super Bowl. Just so that there are no discrepancies

3:11 – Another extended injury timeout. Another Seahawk, this time Marcus Trufant. Carted off as well.

3:13 – Under six minutes to go in the third, Bears still up 21-0 and in the red zone again.

3:15 – Cutler with another rushing TD puts Da Bears up 28-0. Long, time-consuming drive. You can go back to Seattle now, Seahawks. This one appears wrapped up.

3:18 – Just gonna throw it out there, I’ve been tossing around this idea before but I think next football season I’m gonna find myself a bookie and start betting on football. Of course, I mean this just hypothetically. I’m not actually gonna start betting on sports. That’s just wrong.

3:24 – This fucking game…

3:30 – Third quarter is in the books, Bears are leading 28-3. One of the worst playoff games in recent memory. Definitely should’ve eaten that weed cookie

3:38 – After an Aaron Curry pick, Seahawks have the ball. H-beck threw a pick that was called back for PI so Seattle still gasping for air in the game. Ball inside the red zone.

3:43 – Touchdown Seahawks 28-10. Don’t call it a comeback ladies and gentlemen. Because it isn’t.

3:48 – Moving onto one of my favorite beers now: Landshark. Love switching up beers cause you can fully appreciate the complexities and difference of each. Another moderate gain on a screen pass to Forte, they’re gonna need that against GB. One of the only ways to beat their defense.

3:52 – Another punt inside the five by the Bears.

3:56 – Another dropped pass by Seattle. Wow. High school football players, turn away from this game

4:00 – This playoff game is like bad missionary sex. It’s still sex, but you’d rather just jerk off and play video games.

4:02Bears 35 – Seahawks 10. Congrats Seattle on a good season. Oh wait, after this game they’ll be 8-10. Think about that for a minute.

4:04 – Motherfuck, another injury timeout?! God hates America right now

4:08 – God might hate us, but because I love y’all I’m gonna end this live blog here. A little over two minutes to go in the game, Bears lead 35-10. Seahawks have the ball. Be sure to follow the live blog of the Jets-Pats game.

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20 Responses to “Live Play By Play of Seahawks vs Bears”

  1. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 1:36 pm #

    Marshawn is looking like that SportScience segment he filmed between games is taking its toll on him. I wonder how many takes it took for him to get that tire-dragging segment right…

  2. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 1:41 pm #

    The Seattle players look a little cold out there…they would be wise to slice open Siragusa and climb inside to stay warm while on the bench.

  3. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 1:48 pm #

    Leave it to Fox to force segues from a football game into NASCAR, back into the football game. And leave it to Goose to interrupt the segue that’s interrupting the game that he interrupts.

  4. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 1:59 pm #

    Hahahaha…that video cracked me up. Might that be Zach in 35 years?

  5. arrrrrmando January 16, 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    There’s more from him. Look at all his videos

    • DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

      Holy fuck, this guy has children!? Does his wife know he’s about to leave her fora piece of JB?

      • DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 2:08 pm #

        If you watch the 3rd video in the sequence, you come across the quote of the day from this guy, “young women like me, and I like them! And it’s always been that way!” Wow…This is definitely more entertaining that this lack of Strong Moves from Seattle…

  6. arrrrrmando January 16, 2011 at 2:11 pm #

    Happy to entertain. Video courtesy of Z Money btw

    • DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 2:15 pm #

      Haha, I should have known…I watched 5 of them, and now I feel like I need to shower for the next 72 hours.

  7. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 2:24 pm #

    All those things I said about Pete Carroll last week can be retracted…massively disappointed in this series of weak moves being made by Seattle. I’m equally disappointed in the food selection in Kasa de Klioze…

  8. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 2:37 pm #

    To be fair, St. Louis and New Orleans are west/south (just barely) of the Mississippi, but it’s a valid point regardless…This Seattle team is looking like they have the same chance to win this game as the Targum football team would…

  9. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 3:08 pm #

    I just found out this blog is very iPhone compatable…one of the many things you learn during a game such as this.

  10. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 3:19 pm #

    Leave it to Seattle to make Jay Cutler look like Aaron Rodgers…let it be known that I’m rooting for Green Bay to win the superbowl. They’re easily the least offensive team remaining…that is until Rodgers texts pictures of his dong to all of the Bears’ cheerleaders. On second thought, I’d root for him more after that.

  11. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    Goose to Moose: I hate when you say exactly what I’m thinking…but don’t worry, I’ll still find a way to charge in mid sentence and repeat what you just said just so the audience knows I thought of it too.

  12. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 3:26 pm #

    Last week Pete Carroll would have called a trick play that involved an actual tea-bagging on the field…this week he kicks a field goal down by 4 scores. Definition of a #WEAKMOVE

  13. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 3:37 pm #

    Congrats to Matt Forte for providing the most interesting moment of this game thus far. In equally interesting news, I had soup for lunch.

  14. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 3:50 pm #

    And now it’s time to play “Catch up to Armando” in the beer department. Here I go…

  15. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 4:02 pm #

    sssssssssssssssswing and a miss

  16. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

    I’m not sure what that song is that’s played at Soldier Field after a TD, but it’s annoyingly similar to the fly eagles fly song in Philly…

  17. DrKlioze January 16, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

    Looks like Tillman Williamsed that ball into the hands of…holy shit, Mike Williams!

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