For the next week (or two or more, depending on how ambitious/”busy” I am), I will be running a series called #BallinOnABudget which will run down various lists of inexpensive eateries for all of you from or visiting New Joisey. #BallinOnABudget is a lifestyle that does not only include food and perhaps one day I’ll explain the practice (think #StrongMove but more fiscally responsible). But for our purposes, we’re attacking food for now. Today’s list, everyone’s favorite: JERSEY DINERS! (Tip: Bendix Diner will actually not be on this list; I just needed a picture that really encompassed the Jersey Diner feel. You’re it Bendix. If I had to rank NJ diners, Bendix will probably round out the list. On the bottom)
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a football guy. And I don’t mean that in the traditional sense, to cover up and cloud an unspecified amount of time with a blanket cliché such as “for as long as I can remember.” I literally mean one of my first memories in life was crying like a four-year-old after another loss by Tim Brown and company. Cut me some slack, I was a kid and never once batted an eyelash when classmates would tease me or I fell off a bicycle or got my heartbroken by a pre-pubescent honey or when my pet goldfish died. You know, stuff that regular kids cry about. But Jeff Hostetler throwing an interception into the hands of Ray Crockett would send me into a state of depression I could not wholly comprehend.
NOM NOM NOM MOTHERFUCKERS. It came to my attention awhile ago that, while we have ‘Food’ as one of the categories for posts on this blog, we never actually wrote any articles about food. So allow me to pop our own culinary cherry.
That’s not to say I don’t love food. On the contrary, anyone who’s ever been out with me knows I almost prefer a really good meal over getting drunk. Actually, not ‘almost.’ It’s not even close. A fantastic meal ALWAYS beat getting drunk, hands down. You think I just know sports? Come eat out with me. Like I said, I am the Alpha 21st Century Slacker Renaissance Man.
Anyway, I digress. My girlfriend and I have this system, where every week each one of us treats the other one out on a date. I love it because she’s much more creative than I am (though I do hold my own), so I was treated to a Broadway show and parasailing. To keep up with her, my first two dates under this system I took her to ballin’ restaurants. Both of which I’ve really wanted to go for a long time. Both of which owned by an Iron Chef. On one hand, we have Bobby Flay’s Mesa Grill in New York and Morimoto’s, well, Morimoto restaurant in Philly. Both were exquisite. Both were meals I’m going to remember for a very long time. I never knew it was possible to orgasm while eating. But which was better? Since these restaurants are owned by the two Iron Chefs with a little bad blood between them, I figure I give the two reviews an Iron Chef treatment and score them just like the show. Plus, all you cheap bastards can live vicariously through my experiences by reading this and then go and pretend to all your friends as if you know something.
So in the words of one of my favorite television characters of all-time: ALLEZ CUISINE!
From a boring draft, this was the only thing I will remember.
It would’ve been funnier the girl fell backwards.
Nice and cozy snuggled up in my pajamas, finishing up LA Noire, I thought to myself “Hey, why not get all sauced up and live blog the NBA Draf?” Our live blogs are some of our strongest pieces (pun intended) so let’s get this baby started.
This year’s NBA Draft doesn’t have a lot of talent and doesn’t help the doldrums that fans of the NBA (or any sports fan that doesn’t like baseball) are currently in with a lockout looming. However, there are some players that look like they could stay in the league and Bismack Biyombo could be one of them.