Live Play-By-Play of Game 5 of the NBA Finals

9 Jun

I’m giddy. It’s been an absolute dream of a series (which Oakley has done a nice job of covering thus far), so I got my night shift covered so I can watch the game and of course LIVE BLOG it for all of y’all. Tonight, the ever-important Game 5, which becomes all the ever-more-important (I think the grammar may be off on that one…been awhile since I’ve blogged, gonna fight through the rust), because of the abysmal, cowardly, and much talked about performance in Game 4. Join me around 9:00 EST or maybe before if these painkillers kick in a little early. Let’s do this

8:35– Tonight’s beer of choice to start us off and help me swallow the Vicodin I decided to take: Dos Equis Ambar. I stay winning folks you should too. I know it’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me, but I’m back to put y’all in check. Let’s start manning up. It’s a Thursday night ladies and germs. By the way, agree with the fellas on the pre-game show. All eyes on LeBron tonight. Tonight he shows us what he’s made of. He’s already declared this is the biggest game of his career.

8:40 – Gonna go out on a limb and say Zookeeper is gonna be terrible

8:41 – Which means Uncle Oakley is gonna wanna see it. Just kidding. Kinda. You’re still not gonna live that Little Fockers comment down brah

8:43 – This would be the perfect night to order takeout. Damnit, I hate living in this house/the suburbs. Been apartment hunting all day in addition to applying for jobs. Contrary to popular belief, the Strong Move doesn’t pay. It’s a creative (I use this term loosely) endeavor. But contributions are appreciated.

8:47 – Taco Bell’s Cheesy Beef Melt is a farce. It should be renamed the Slightly Beefy Cheese Shenanigan. There’s a reason it only costs a buck

8:54 – Acoustics? You couldn’t do better for the NBA FINALS? Really David Stern?

8:58 – That was the gayest thing I’ve seen in a sporting event that doesn’t involve dudes grappling with each other.

8:58 – Before the game starts, I’m going on record and saying Dirk goes into beast mode and the Mavs take it. Somewhat comfortably too. I just don’t know if I like the Wade-James dynamic in crunch time. Wade, yes. But LeBron really worried me the way he played scared in the latter parts of Game 4. Dude looked completely caught off guard. And now he’s mounting all this pressure on himself? Hmmmm

9:04 – That National Anthem was so gay I invited my girlfriend over. Still getting used to saying ‘girlfriend.’

9:08 – Mavs gotta come out strong. Have yet to see a complete four quarters from them this series, which is scary for Miami

9:09 – Nice look from Dirk on the fast break doesn’t go, still tied 2-2. Nice alley-oop to Chandler however puts them ahead by two. Mavs 4-2

9:12 – LeBron looking a little tentative so far. 0/2 shooting and playing Hot Potato. Kidd nails a 3, which is answered by James, which is immediately answered by Dirk. 9-6 Mavs

9:13 – Marion with an acrobatic spin move and a layup! Mavs have their biggest lead so far and Miami is forced to call a timeout. Great start by the Mavs, which is exactly what they needed. The crowd is pumped, if they build an early lead this could get ugly. Fans are out for blood

9:16 – I dunno what it is, but there is no better athlete to watch while high/drunk than LeBron. I feel like I get a special insight into him. I remember watching a Cavs-Celtics playoff game that he dunked over Garnett while on acid and E. One of the coolest sporting events I’ve seen on TV. So he has that going for him

9:18 – Dirk almost sinks the basket to get an old-fashioned three point play. Has there been a better playoff performance since Jordan than what Dirk is doing this year? He looks unstoppable, makes everyone around him better. The only other one that comes to mind is Wade in ’06 and that was mostly because of how much he went to the foul line. No, Dirk is definitely playing at a transcendent level in these playoffs. Dallas up 17-10 by the way

9:23 – Mrs. StrongMove is bringing me food. She’s the greatest. I can’t wait to show her the spectacle that is me while I’m watching a Raiders game. If there is football next year *gulp* Predicting they reach an agreement late July, early August. Mavs 23-17 more impressed with how they are playing on defense. Doing a decent job of matching up

9:30 – Great pass from Terry inside to Chandler, get the hoop….and the harm! Chance for a three point play, but he missed it. 25-19. Haslem responds on the other end with the shot clock winding down.

9:32 – AGAIN the Mavericks force the Heat to bring the shot clock way down, this time a terrible shot by Chalmers. Like I said, it’s not spectacular but I like what Dallas is doing on defense.

9:34 – Juwan Howard: “I’m so old” *Old Man Voice*

9:35 – Hey, whatever happened to that guy Lasagna Diop? Chandler with a SLAM Mavs 30-28. We’re still in the first quarter by the way

9:36 – jabsvhjibs dhvilbsdv;ibvr

9:36 Heat up by one after a half-court shot by Chalmers. Really exciting first quarter. Great to watch a full game for once. Next year, I should legitimately take a month vacation for the NBA/NHL playoffs. Favorite time of year. And I miss a good portion of it. Moved onto St. Pauli Girl for the record. And the Vicodin is taking hold of me now.

9:40 – Just informed of the food being delivered. Taco Bell. As I type that, Terry with a desperation 3 to tie it at 33 as the shot clock expires. He’s having a helluva game so far. Shot clock expires on the other end for the Heat. Now fifth time the Mavs force them to take a bad shot or have it expire on them.

9:42 – Mavs can’t convert on the three point play, up by two. Heat get a shot at one at the other end as Bosh is fouled as he sinks a layup. He gets it. Heat 36-35

9:43 – Barea is taking some shit shots tonight. Stevenson knots it up at 38. Wade coming back from the locker room after getting dinged up

9:45 – Wow I just realized after hearing my family talking that it’s my brother’s birthday tomorrow. That’s how a dysfunctional family works by the way. The relationships just kinda dissolve slowly over time and you can’t put a figure on when it happened really. Really sad. *takes a swig of beer*

9:48 – Wade is fine? What a surprise!

9:49 – Terry brings them within one. Chalmers and Barea trade 3’s. Mavs need him to start stepping up, it’ll be a completely different game if he was on right now. Heat 45-44 seven minutes to go in the second.

9:55 – James is coming back in? I couldn’t tell he was on the bench…

9:56 – Not sure what’s been more entertaining, this series or the Canucks-Bruins

9:58 – Bosh makes both of his free throws, Heat up by six. Bosh quietly having a nice game, 13 points for him so far. Who would’ve thought at the beginning of the year he’d be playing this well? I hate to say it

10:00 – Grown Man Move, Mr. Jackson? The older brother of the Strong Move

10:02 – My dad is trying to teach my brother how to parallel park by talking to him. My brother has his driving test tomorrow? Someone is going to fail…

10:05 – Taco is here…:)

10:14 Mavs up 60-57 at the half. Quick break to blog in between my Cheesy Gordiate Crunches. YUM. This Live Blog brought to you by…Taco Bell! Don’t get the Cheesy Beef Melt, get the Cheesy Gordita Crunch

11:36 – Ummmm, well. Yeah. Huh

11:37 – If I live blogged through that, I’d be the most talented blogger this side of the Mississippi. Mavericks up 105-100. Yeah, good game so far. Some people played good.

11:38 – Chandler with a HUGE block on Wade. What a man

11:39 – Under a minute left. Bosh misses the second, Mavs up by four


11:41 – I will say this, Mavs needed this game much more than the Heat. But the Heat look like they’re in trouble. No time to hit the panic button just yet.

11:44 – Wade misses an ill-advised 3. Mavs up by 7. Looks like this one is over.

11:49 Mavericks take it 112-103. Looks like Dallas is gonna take the series in Miami. Yeah, I’m calling it. And I think it’s happening on Sunday. I don’t think Miami can recover from this. As Stu Scott just said, James with the quietest triple double ever. If this was James’ most important game ever, Scottie Pippen is gonna look like a schmuck when all is said and done. LeBron, I saw Jordan. And you sir, are no Jordan. Crowd was great, Terry was even better. A three pointer with LeBron’s hand in his face? Fuck off. Fantastic overall game from the Mavs. Two points from LBJ in the fourth quarter? Ruh roh. I expect to be partying Sunday night. MVP of the night however goes to Mrs. StrongMove. Til next time fools. Expect another post tomorrow, I’ll make up for my hour and a half absence in this one. Catch y’all tomorrow night after I get off work



One Response to “Live Play-By-Play of Game 5 of the NBA Finals”

  1. YOU KNOW WHO June 9, 2011 at 11:45 pm #

    1. Jason Terry has big black brass balls.


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